Everyone knows USA is pretty different from Europe, especially from Finland.
But how different it actually is?
I’m not talking about politics here. Like who cares?
I’m talking about the real stuff. The important stuff.
Dating and boys.
Is dating in USA exactly how we imagine it to be?
Uhu. Most of the time.
Are the guys over there as hunky as they appear on the TV shows?
Uhu. Most of the time.
I was 24, almost 25, when I moved to the US
and I had NEVER. HAD. A. REAL. DATE. before that. Can you believe it? Me!
The hottest girl on the earth had never had a real date in her life!
…I mean, there was this one time when I thought a guy asked me out.
But once we got to the restaurant he announced loudly
“This is not a date then, Maria. Just wanted to make sure you don’t overthink this!”
And I was like “Yeah cool lol why would this be a date haha” and proceeded to order super greasy pasta for comfort food.
But anyway, it was fine, cos I was about to date my ass off in BOSTON BABY.
THE MAGICAL WORLD OF TINDER
I first had Tinder on my phone back in 2014.
It was in Finland, a few months before my USA trip.
But I got pretty bored of Tinder quite quickly because, well, it WAS boring.
No-one answered my messages. Or no-one started any convos,
or if someone did text me, the conversation died before it actually even started and uuugghhhh….it was just…awkward. So I ended up deleting it.
But Americans…they are chatty. They know their way around small talk.
So I figured Tinder would be pretty lit over there.
The moment I got the WiFi working on my phone I went to my room and downloaded Tinder. I created my profile and started swiping.
AND OH EM GEE.
There were SO MANY CUTE GUYS, LIKE WHAAAAT?
I think I swiped right for like 1000 guys in 5 seconds.
Harvard guys, stylish business guys, lawyers, athletes, musicians,…good LORD.
I was like Alice in Wonderland.
The more time I spent on tinder – the more amazing (or more “what the hell”) things got.
After I matched with someone – they started talking to me!
This was super weird because Finnish Tinder is full of people who don’t have arms so no-one can really text. Or they just give you one-word texts because writing is too difficult for them.
But yeah. People were super chatty. Super friendly. Super eager to go out ASAP.
It reminded me a little of all those online chat rooms in the early 00’s where pre-teens pretended to be older than they actually were, trying to get some phone numbers and where 60-year old creeps tried to get young girls to send nudes.
Nothing was different now. Except that I was the one asking for nudes.
Not really jk jk.
But I was.
It was so easy to carry a convo with american guys on Tinder.
I just love texting – and so did many of my tinder matches. These guys would text and talk.
Ten points to Gryffindoor!
But of course there needs to be some weirdos in there as well.
Otherwise we wouldn’t recognize the non-psycho ones from the bunch. It’s not all fun and games. Except that it kinda is.
“So…you ever spent a night with a real Harvard grad Doctor before ;)”
Setting a date also happes quite quickly. Where as in Finland you exchange one word texts once a week, in USA you start talking with your match almost immediately and usually plan the date after texting a few hours.
Once I met a guy just after 5 texts. “Wanna meet for brunch tomorrow”
“Hells yeah” Cos he was cute. And that brunch turned into a beautiful friendship.
THAT DATING THING
Even though I had never been on a real date before, I still knew what to expect from a date.
I mean, I don’t wanna brag or anything but my knowledge on popular TV-sitcoms is quite wide. I’ve seen Sex and the City. I’ve seen Friends. I’ve seen the Bold and the Beautiful.
I know how people date. And if it’s on TV it must thereby be true.
And it is true. More or less.
How I imagined an iconic american date would go:
A dreamy guy would pick me up from my house. He’d have the whole date planned out.
Food, some kind of activity (not sexy time, not yet anyway), talking, maybe drinks, flirting, a few more drinks, then he’d drive me home and we’d share a beautiful picturesque kiss when we say goodbye. Just like on TV.
And then he’d text me right after. Like duh. Because he’d think I’m really cute
and he can’t help but miss me immediately.
And hey guess what. I got at least 5 dates exactly like that! 10 points to Slytherin!
Plus…smoooochiing in a car after a date is more a rule rather than exception over there. Ha! And I LOVED IT.
I don’t know if you have a dating culture in your country but for a Finn this kind of stuff was like from another world or something. I mean seriously.
The guys were super confident. In a good way. Not in the “I hate women”-douchey way that many people are but in a “I look a little like Justin Timberlake and goddamn I know it”-type of way.
Also these guys were like super polite and super gentlemanly…at least they gave that impression on the first few dates.
There was this one time I was in a super fancy restaurant/bar with a SUPER HOT musician guy. I had never been so nervous in my entire life. But cutely enough, so was he. The waiter brought our cocktails to the table and I started drinking mine. I said jokingly “This drink would be the best drink ever if only it was pink”.
Then he called the waiter back to our table and whispered something to him.
The waiter then took my drink and I was like whoa what why?
After like ten seconds the waiter came back with that same drink, but only NOW IT WAS PINK.
And my date asked “Is it now the best drink ever?”
I think I burped or did something stupid as an answer to that, because that was just too much politeness and coolness for me to handle.
Another cute/interesting date-stories I’d like to share with you are:
Trip to Walmart with a cute Florida Guy
Spring Festival / Wicca Ceremony in Salem
“Drunken Shakespeare” (A play where the actors were DRUNK – my dream job)
But I’ll save those bits for another time.
DATING IN FINLAND vs DATING IN USA:
Guess how many american-type of dates I’ve had since I returned to Finland?
Yup, you’re right. ZERO. Zeeeheeero.
But that’s not my fault. I realized, that the problem is NOT that I’m ugly (because c’mon).
The problem is Finnish dating culture.
We don’t date in Finland. We don’t have that kind of culture over here.
In Finland we just kinda “hang” with people whom we find cute and eventually, hopefully, it’ll turn into a relationship.
Hasn’t ever happened to me though but maybe someday. #ForeverAlone.
But in USA dating is kind of a hobby. For both guys and girls.
On Fridays and Saturdays the cities are full of couples having fabulous dinners, drinking amazing cocktails, talking nonsense about music and movies,
making future plans they don’t intend to actually accomplish, they’re just having fun!
And if there’s no romantic spark – hey, new acquaintances!
In Finland, if two people don’t “click”,
they pretend that the date never happened and that the other person doesn’t even exist.
If they happen to run into each other in a bar later in life, they just quickly turn around and run away.
It’s like the person they used to date is now carrying a deadly disease that is transmitted by eye-contact.
The biggest threat in Finnish dating scene is the lack of communication. No-one really wants to talk or share what they’re thinking with the person they’re about to date/ currently dating.
This leads to misunderstandings and stupid girls with little hearts fall in love with totally wrong guys. And sometimes vice versa.
We Finns could learn something from our American compadres: we need to SHARE more.
We need to enjoy more! And not take everything so seriously…
What kind of dating/tinder stories you have from your travels?