Never a goodbye – always a see you later
A love letter for my family and friends, near and far
My life’s been pretty mobile for the past 5 years. I’ve been dancing around in circles between Mallorca, Finland and Boston. I’ve referred to all three as “my home” and I will always be connected to these places, in one way or another.
I’m soon leaving again.
It makes me extremely happy, because I’ve been talking about going away ever since I got back here, to the point where everyone has started to get a little frustrated with me.
Even though I love to come and go, leaving is not just all fun and games for me.
There’s an emotional toll in not seeing your loved ones every day, or in having to leave something unfinished behind.
I might cry on the plane, but I’ve survived that heartbreaking feeling countless times before.
Because guess what?
It’s never a goodbye between us, it’s always a see you later.
And that’s why I wanted to write this story.
To let everyone know,
that the people I’ve chosen to be in my life are always on my mind and in my heart.
“Home is where your heart is.”
But what if my heart is in million pieces around the world?
Back in 2012 I spent a life-changing summer in Mallorca.
That was the summer when I basically grew up from an insecure duckling to a diva ostrich, found my independence, started figuring out who I actually am and found my light.
When it was time to go back home, I cried so much I thought it would never end.
I said goodbyes to all the new people that had become my family over the summer.
People whom I loved in strange new frequencies I had never experienced before.
I thought I’d never feel something so magical like that again.
But I was wrong. The next year I returned to Mallorca and soon I had a new group of people around me, a new family.
I don’t know what was it; our hectic jobs and insane work hours, our tiny apartment, or just the magic of Mallorca – but the connections we made there felt deeper and more honest than ever before.
One of my new family members, a lovely Dutch girl called Wendy, then had to go back home a little earlier than the rest of us.
We were about to say our goodbyes with tears in our eyes, when she calmly reminded us that it’s never a goodbye with friends. It’s always a see you later.
And that’s when I realized how insanely true it actually was.
“See you later”.
Now that I have lived a little, I’m good at analyzing the vibes I get from people.
I know which ones are just going to be one chapter in my book, and which ones I’m gonna write never ending novels about.
We all have our own struggles in life;
there’s no time, no money, no job,
or maybe too much work, and too many miles between us…
So many different reasons that keep us from seeing each other.
But the people who are supposed to be in your life, never go away. Not completely.
They’ll come around when it’s time again.
I still feel connected to the people whom I’ve last spoken to face to face over four years ago.
I feel connected with my friends whom I’ve known forever, but we all lead our own hectic lives now and sadly never have the chance to see each other.
I even feel connected with some people I’ve only seen once, or twice, or thrice EVER,
but still feel like there’s something powerful in there.
If I’d see them again right now I know we’d pick up exactly from where we left off.
And I think it’s magical.
That’s why I don’t want to say goodbye anymore – except when I’m saying it as a joke.
Every person I’ve given a piece of my heart to, has held onto it.
They’re there. Somewhere. And I know if I called, they’d answer.
And thanks to our modern digital lives, I can always stalk them up on different social media platforms to see what they’re up to.
The word “home” means a lot of different things to me now.
It used to only mean my “home home”, my childhood home,
but now home is a feeling I get when my heart’s at peace.
It’s where I can burp and fart without any shame.
It feels like home when I’m swimming in the Mediterranean sea, in the early morning light staring at the sun.
It feels like home when I can burst into a song in the middle of a crowded bar and no-one looks at me funny.
It feels like home when I’m with my friends, eating crap, laying on the couch, telling secrets, and just being plain disgusting. I don’t let that many people so close to me, and having that kind of open, relaxing feeling with my friends is all that a person needs.
My parents’ house still is the number one home I’ve ever had.
It’s where I feel loved, encouraged and supported no matter what. It’s where I can always return to. I’m extremely grateful for my parents, for always letting me in with open arms, since not everyone has that same safe haven so lovingly and warmly given to them.
Even though I don’t love my hometown or home country as much as I should, I love the people I have there.
I’m extremely BLESSED to have met so many incredible people around the world, and even more grateful to be able to call majority of them my friends.
Whether we are besties, hookups, old work mates, brothers from another mother, sisters from different misters – You’re forever in my heart and I can’t wait to see you again.
And you know what? The reunion is going to be AMAZING.
Until next time,
xoxo Miss Fancypants